Deceptions of the heart
by ultimatepencilsharpener
Summary: When Katniss finally rescue Peeta from the evil cluthes of the Capitol she has a decision to make. Will she be with her long time Friend and true love? Or will she choose the boy from the bakery who would risk his life just to be with her? Please comment!
1. Chapter 1

**Peeta **- What the hell is that?  
**Katniss -** Wha...oh my god!

**Peeta:** Katniss I thought u said you and gale had only kissed once  
**Katniss**: We have, it's just that…

**Katniss**: It's just that - Oh, hi Gale!  
**Gale:** Hey Katniss, I see you did get that naked tattoo of me on your left ass cheek. Excellent! Do you want to know where I got yours?  
**Peeta:** Nooooooo!  
**Katniss:** Not right now  
- President Snow walks in -  
**Pres snow**: But I do....  
** All:** President Snow!  
**Gale:** Why did you just say your own name?!  
**President Snow:** Because... Your face!

**President Snow:** anyway Katniss I got a tattoo of your sister prim because I know you will wanna claw that off my body right away.

**Peeta -** But...but you promised you would get a tattoo of ME not her stupid sister!  
**Katniss **- Peeta!  
**Gale -** Anyone for a Martini? I make a mean Martini

**Katniss: **Hell yes im gonna need to be drunk to do what im about to do  
**Peeta**: What are you about to do  
**President Snow:** Yes what are u about to do?

**Katniss:** Well-

**Gale:** Seriously guys, my Martini's are orgasmic.  
**Katniss:** -Then I'm gonna put it right here-  
**Prim:** I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeeee slippers.  
**Katniss:** -Then it'll be like 'Waaaahahahahtutututututuuuuuu... pop! Then-  
**President Snow:** WHA!?  
**Katniss:** -Then my cat will do this thing I taught it-  
**Peeta:** I want a martini  
**Katniss:** The you'll be like 'Oh Katniss!' How's that!

**Prim:** Katniss! What the hell are talking about!  
**Katniss:** Prim? When did you get here? Seriously did anyone see her come in?  
**Gale:** ok I have made the martinis everyone! now if you will excuse me I am going to take mine and cozy up to that guy over there....whats his name again  
**President Snow:** Hes hot Thresh  
**Gale**: HES GOT WHAT!?  
**President Snow:** he is HOT THRESH  
**Gale:** oh god then I thought you said something else

**Haymitch:** *burp* Let's party... ummm.... Cat-face!  
**Katniss:** It's Katniss, actually.

**Haymitch:** Hahahahaha! What? Sorry, I just remembered this joke I heard earlier.

**Katniss:** What Joke?  
**Haymitch**: Well I was talking to prim and she mentioned how u looked like a cat,, geddit cat face.  
**Gale:** I think she looks more like a frog don't u think?

**Haymitch**: no no no she looks like one of those what do you call it? oh yer pineapples  
hahah pineapple face  
-says drunkenly-  
**Prim:** why is President Snow making out with a Llama?  
**Peeta:** Because I told him the llama was Elijah wood.  
**Gale:** And why on earth would he want to make out with that hobbit, I mean he's like 50 I think..

**President Snow:** A llama? But you felt so good.  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** What was that? Kill the others? But why?  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** I see. -shifty eyes-  
-enter finnick-  
**Finnick:** I'm like a mermaid, but a man. I'm a mer-man!  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Finnick:** Elijah Wood?!  
**Haymitch**: And they say Annie is the crazy one.

**Katniss-** Finnick!! You beautiful hunk of halfish half man!  
**Gale-** You know he is really hot but when compared to that Llama! whoa i think my heart skipped a beat  
**President snow-** Gale. Back. The. F**k. away. From. My. Llama.  
**Peeta-** Ok lets calm down here and let Elij.... I mean the Llama decide who he wants  
-Llama walks over to Samwise Gamgee-  
**Katniss **- seriously people who keeps letting these randoms in!

**Samwise:** I love you, Mr. Frodo!  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha!  
-Llama + Samwise = major making out-  
**Katniss:** Oh dear Jesus! Come here Finnick; shield me with your hot biceps!  
**President Snow:** You said we'd be together forever, Elijah! FOREVER!  
**Gale:** Bitch! Elijah is mine!  
**Peeta:** Umm... it's a llama.  
**Gale:** Shut Up! You don't know anything about it! You goddamn tapestry!  
-Gasp-

**Peeta:** What did you say?!  
**Gollum:** What did you - oh! We see how it is.

**Luke Skywalker**: i need to see darth Frodo  
**Katniss**: it's the llama  
**Luke...** well ill have you then  
**Gale**: Oh know if I can't have Elijah I will have Katniss

**Katniss**: No I don't want any of you!! The only man I ever loved is making out with president snow!!

-Enter Cameron Diaz-

**Katniss:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CLOSE THE F**KING DOOR SOME TERRORIST WILL COME AND KILL US ALL!

**Cameron Diaz** – Coincidently I am hear for that very reason

*says in southern accent*

**Peeta:** Wait, wait aren't you that chick in that really bad movie about a box?

**All:** OH YER! That really was bad

**Cameron Diaz:** How dare you insult my work!

**Gollum:** What did you say?

**Cameron Diaz:** I said how you dare insult my work, now prepare to die! Because I can and I want you to!

**Llama:** Mmmrememeememem

**Cameron Diaz:** THE BOX!!!!!

-Whole place explodes killing everyone-


	2. Chapter 2

After two seconds of complete darkness the gang wake up and find out that things are not what they seem…

**Cameron Diaz:** OMG where all ghosts!! I did it! I killed everyone!

**Peeta **- What the hell is that?  
**Katniss -** Wha...oh my god!

**Peeta:** Katniss I thought u said you and gale had only kissed once  
**Katniss**: We have, it's just that…

**Katniss**: It's just that - Oh, hi Gale!  
**Gale:** Hey Katniss, I see you did get that naked tattoo of me on your left ass cheek. Excellent! Do you want to know where I got yours?  
**Peeta:** Nooooooo!  
**Katniss:** Not right now  
- President Snow walks in -  
**Pres snow**: But I do....  
**All:** President Snow!  
**Gale:** Why did you just say your own name?!  
**President Snow:** Because... Your face!

**President Snow:** anyway Katniss I got a tattoo of your sister prim because I know you will wanna claw that off my body right away.

**Peeta -** But...but you promised you would get a tattoo of ME not her stupid sister!  
**Katniss **- Peeta!  
**Gale -** Anyone for a Martini? I make a mean Martini

**Katniss: **Hell yes im gonna need to be drunk to do what im about to do  
**Peeta**: What are you about to do  
**President Snow:** Yes what are u about to do?

**Katniss:** Well-

**Gale:** Seriously guys, my Martini's are orgasmic.  
**Katniss:** -Then I'm gonna put it right here-  
**Prim:** I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeeee slippers.  
**Katniss:** -Then it'll be like 'Waaaahahahahtutututututuuuuuu... pop! Then-  
**President Snow:** WHA!?  
**Katniss:** -Then my cat will do this thing I taught it-  
**Peeta:** I want a martini  
**Katniss:** The you'll be like 'Oh Katniss!' How's that!

**Prim:** Katniss! What the hell are talking about!  
**Katniss:** Prim? When did you get here? Seriously did anyone see her come in?  
**Gale:** ok I have made the martinis everyone! now if you will excuse me I am going to take mine and cozy up to that guy over there....whats his name again  
**President Snow:** Hes hot Thresh  
**Gale**: HES GOT WHAT!?  
**President Snow:** he is HOT THRESH  
**Gale:** oh god then I thought you said something else

**Haymitch:** *burp* Let's party... ummm.... Cat-face!  
**Katniss:** It's Katniss, actually.

**Haymitch:** Hahahahaha! What? Sorry, I just remembered this joke I heard earlier.

**Katniss:** What Joke?  
**Haymitch**: Well I was talking to prim and she mentioned how u looked like a cat,, geddit cat face.  
**Gale:** I think she looks more like a frog don't u think?

**Haymitch**: no no no she looks like one of those what do you call it? oh yer pineapples  
hahah pineapple face  
-says drunkenly-  
**Prim:** why is President Snow making out with a Llama?  
**Peeta:** Because I told him the llama was Elijah wood.  
**Gale:** And why on earth would he want to make out with that hobbit, I mean he's like 50 I think..

**President Snow:** A llama? But you felt so good.  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** What was that? Kill the others? But why?  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** I see. -shifty eyes-  
-enter finnick-  
**Finnick:** I'm like a mermaid, but a man. I'm a mer-man!  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Finnick:** Elijah Wood?!  
**Haymitch**: And they say Annie is the crazy one.

**Katniss-** Finnick!! You beautiful hunk of halfish half man!  
**Gale-** You know he is really hot but when compared to that Llama! whoa i think my heart skipped a beat  
**President snow-** Gale. Back. The. F**k. away. From. My. Llama.  
**Peeta-** Ok lets calm down here and let Elij.... I mean the Llama decide who he wants  
-Llama walks over to Samwise Gamgee-  
**Katniss **- seriously people who keeps letting these randoms in!

**Samwise:** I love you, Mr. Frodo!  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha!  
-Llama + Samwise = major making out-  
**Katniss:** Oh dear Jesus! Come here Finnick; shield me with your hot biceps!  
**President Snow:** You said we'd be together forever, Elijah! FOREVER!  
**Gale:** Bitch! Elijah is mine!  
**Peeta:** Umm... it's a llama.  
**Gale:** Shut Up! You don't know anything about it! You goddamn tapestry!  
-Gasp-

**Peeta:** What did you say?!  
**Gollum:** What did you - oh! We see how it is.

**Luke Skywalker**: i need to see darth Frodo  
**Katniss**: it's the llama  
**Luke...** well ill have you then  
**Gale**: Oh know if I can't have Elijah I will have Katniss

**Katniss**: No I don't want any of you!! The only man I ever loved is making out with president snow!!

**Katniss:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CLOSE THE F**KING DOOR SOME TERRORIST WILL COME AND KILL US ALL!

**Ghostbusters enter:** When there's something strange in the neighbor hood. Who gonna call?

**All:** GHOSTBUSTERS!

**Ghostbusters:** THE BOX!

-Whole place explodes killing everyone-


	3. Chapter 3

After dying twice the gang wake up yet again and once more things are not what they seem….

**Dr Parnassus:** WHAT. THE. HELL!. IS GOING ON IN MY HEAD!

**Peeta **- What the hell is that?  
**Katniss -** Wha...oh my god!

**Peeta:** Katniss I thought u said you and gale had only kissed once  
**Katniss**: We have, it's just that…

**Katniss**: It's just that - Oh, hi Gale!  
**Gale:** Hey Katniss, I see you did get that naked tattoo of me on your left ass cheek. Excellent! Do you want to know where I got yours?  
**Peeta:** Nooooooo!  
**Katniss:** Not right now  
- President Snow walks in -  
**Pres snow**: But I do....  
**All:** President Snow!  
**Gale:** Why did you just say your own name?!  
**President Snow:** Because... Your face!

**President Snow:** anyway Katniss I got a tattoo of your sister prim because I know you will wanna claw that off my body right away.

**Peeta -** But...but you promised you would get a tattoo of ME not her stupid sister!  
**Katniss **- Peeta!  
**Gale -** Anyone for a Martini? I make a mean Martini

**Katniss: **Hell yes im gonna need to be drunk to do what im about to do  
**Peeta**: What are you about to do  
**President Snow:** Yes what are u about to do?

**Katniss:** Well-

**Gale:** Seriously guys, my Martini's are orgasmic.  
**Katniss:** -Then I'm gonna put it right here-  
**Prim:** I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeeee slippers.  
**Katniss:** -Then it'll be like 'Waaaahahahahtutututututuuuuuu... pop! Then-  
**President Snow:** WHA!?  
**Katniss:** -Then my cat will do this thing I taught it-  
**Peeta:** I want a martini  
**Katniss:** The you'll be like 'Oh Katniss!' How's that!

**Prim:** Katniss! What the hell are talking about!  
**Katniss:** Prim? When did you get here? Seriously did anyone see her come in?  
**Gale:** ok I have made the martinis everyone! now if you will excuse me I am going to take mine and cozy up to that guy over there....whats his name again  
**President Snow:** Hes hot Thresh  
**Gale**: HES GOT WHAT!?  
**President Snow:** he is HOT THRESH  
**Gale:** oh god then I thought you said something else

**Haymitch:** *burp* Let's party... ummm.... Cat-face!  
**Katniss:** It's Katniss, actually.

**Haymitch:** Hahahahaha! What? Sorry, I just remembered this joke I heard earlier.

**Katniss:** What Joke?  
**Haymitch**: Well I was talking to prim and she mentioned how u looked like a cat,, geddit cat face.  
**Gale:** I think she looks more like a frog don't u think?

**Haymitch**: no no no she looks like one of those what do you call it? oh yer pineapples  
hahah pineapple face  
-says drunkenly-  
**Prim:** why is President Snow making out with a Llama?  
**Peeta:** Because I told him the llama was Elijah wood.  
**Gale:** And why on earth would he want to make out with that hobbit, I mean he's like 50 I think..

**President Snow:** A llama? But you felt so good.  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** What was that? Kill the others? But why?  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**President Snow:** I see. -shifty eyes-  
-enter finnick-  
**Finnick:** I'm like a mermaid, but a man. I'm a mer-man!  
**Llama:** Mmmrrrahhaha.  
**Finnick:** Elijah Wood?!  
**Haymitch**: And they say Annie is the crazy one.

**Katniss-** Finnick!! You beautiful hunk of halfish half man!  
**Gale-** You know he is really hot but when compared to that Llama! whoa i think my heart skipped a beat  
**President snow-** Gale. Back. The. F**k. away. From. My. Llama.  
**Peeta-** Ok lets calm down here and let Elij.... I mean the Llama decide who he wants  
-Llama walks over to Samwise Gamgee-  
**Katniss **- seriously people who keeps letting these randoms in!

**Samwise:** I love you, Mr. Frodo!  
**Llama**: Mmmrrrahhaha!  
-Llama + Samwise = major making out-  
**Katniss:** Oh dear Jesus! Come here Finnick; shield me with your hot biceps!  
**President Snow:** You said we'd be together forever, Elijah! FOREVER!  
**Gale:** Bitch! Elijah is mine!  
**Peeta:** Umm... it's a llama.  
**Gale:** Shut Up! You don't know anything about it! You goddamn tapestry!  
-Gasp-

**Peeta:** What did you say?!  
**Gollum:** What did you - oh! We see how it is.

**Luke Skywalker**: i need to see darth Frodo  
**Katniss**: it's the llama  
**Luke...** well ill have you then  
**Gale**: Oh know if I can't have Elijah I will have Katniss

**Katniss**: No I don't want any of you!! The only man I ever loved is making out with president snow!!

**Katniss:** I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE DOESN'T CLOSE THE F**KING DOOR SOME TERRORIST WILL COME AND KILL US ALL!

**Dr Parnassus:** Oh I wish I was punk rocker with flowers in my hair! From 77-69 revolution was in the air!

**Gale:** HAHAHHAHA 69

**Dr Parnassus**: HOW DARE YOU INTERUPT MY SINGING!

**Dr Parnassus:** THE BOX!

-Whole place explodes killing everyone-

**Gollum**: What did you say?

**Miscellaneous character:** Coin.


	4. Chapter 4

...


End file.
